What's up? Yeah, like you're gonna answer, you're a book! I am going crazy trapped in the house!!! Zoe is stuck in bed after that run in with those vamps, who I still haven't met by the way cause apparently my best friend is holding out on me. Venus is stuck in bed in some wierd coma thingy. Dee is in love or something and busy plus I think Geller told her to keep an eye on us so anytime I do see her she's got these fucking crazy eyes looking at me like any moment some perverts gonna come in and try to snatch me. Well let me tell you something diary ----right about now I wish some pervert would come in and snatch me because I am bored to fucking tears! And everyone in the whole god damn city is in love except me! Ok probably an exagerration but it doesn't feel like one. I'm so desperate I'd settle for a wolf snatching pervert.
I totally ran out on my summer classes at Oxford and the brits almost shit a brick. My dad's probably gonna do the same thing if he doesn't kill me. (I just hope he can't kill me before the pervert gets here. It would be a shame to die a virgin y'know?) So school at Tulane doesn't start for a whole fucking month and I have no job in this god forsaken place and I am just stuck here looking at coma patients and ZOE WON'T EVEN GO SHOPPING!!! I think she might be dying.
There's a pack here or I guess there is but there's so much damn chaos it's hard to really know what's going on half the time. Oh by the way, did I tell you I think Trent sometimes wears my underwear when I'm gone? I'm convinced of it! Now I just have to prove it. Maybe he's the wolf snatchin' pervert of my dreams.....maybe not. Anyway about the pack, what was I saying <at this point there are a bunch of doodles in the diary that look like a scribbly mess> oh yeah! So the pack hangs out a lot at this bar called the Hookah and hmmm I guess that was about all I had to say about that. Kind of anti-climatic I guess.
Geller's back from New York, obviously cause you already know about coma-Venus KEEP UP DIARY. He's busy getting his restaurant open but get this HE'S IN LOVE TOO! Sickening. Just sickening. Who would want to be in love with Geller? He's so old! It would be like sleeping with father time or something. Ick! I know the woman cause she came with us from New York but she wasn't around much and then they split up but now I guess they are back together. It's all complicated and like one of those telanovellas on the Spanish channel that I watch and make up words to. Anyway, I am gonna have to track the woman down and find out what her intentions are towards our ancient old Geller.
Nike is missing too! Though I guess not really missing cause Geller said she's fine but she hasn't been around. I don't know why. Cause apparently no one thinks to tell me things until someone is in the hospital. I miss her and her sexy sidekick. Yes diary I realize I am a hypocrit. I think Geller is ancient as dirt but I want to rip old stodgy James's clothes off and ravage him. I never said I fucking made sense!
I didn't really get to explore New Orleans much before summer session started so I guess I will get to do that soon. So in conclusion....everyones either in a coma, in love, missing, or being crazy watchful. I am bored to tears hoping for a pervert to come before my dad kills me. That's all for now.
Well we haven't had anyone else in a coma or the hospital or kidnapped. At least not that I know of. So it looks like things might just be calming down. We did however get a new roomie. Her name is Cadence, she seems nice enough. She's a model cause yea, that's just what we needed, another drop dead gorgeous blonde around here. Yeesh! How am I ever going to meet a guy when I'm constantly surrounded by other gorgeous women? I need to move somewhere with ugly people. Lots and lots of ugly people.
Speaking of tall gorgeous blondes. I went and spent some time talking to Jenna and got some dirt on her relationship with the old man. She's a little bossy but I still like her and let me tell you diary, she is totally gone on Geller. She wouldn't shut up about him! And he is at least thirteen years older than her! ZOMG I mean, is that even legal???? But she doesn't seem to mind. AND OMG she talked about SEX! About them having sex! Well, okay I asked but still! Shut the front door!
Zoe is doing a little better but still says she feels weak. Sometimes I think I forget she's human and it takes her longer to get over stuff. I am going to try to be more patient but you know me diary, I am not fucking good at patience. Hopefully she'll get out of that bed soon and come hang out again. Venus is still in a coma. Dee is still in lurv! Nike, still no word. And I miss my sexy James manwich. It sucks! Maybe I should see if there's some way for a wolf to call a vampire. Hey! They can do it to us so why not the other way around? Only seems fair.
That pack I mentioned is probably getting together soon because of the full moon coming up. Kind of looking forward to it, kind of wondering what we're doing. I mean, this isn't like Alaska.....omg! I forgot to tell you! I met a wierd woman at Gellers restaurant. She is from the fire department and wanted to see him. Oh! And! I think Adam tried to look up my skirt! Or was it Steven? I can't remember but someone definitely tried to look up my skirt. Thank Christ! I was starting to think I wasn't a woman at all!!!
That wierd nurse is here and she's watching me. I don't like it! She is suppsedly here to look after Venus but she is always being snoopy. If she wasn't just a silly human I'd probably be tempted to bark at her.
Looking for a job this week I fucking promise! Ta for now.
You will not believe the day I had today! I don't even believe the day I had today! Okay, where should I fucking start. First of all I got a job. Not just any job, but a job working the reception desk at Paix. That's right, now I will be working with Geller's lady everyday and that means I can get all kinds of dirt on him. Or something like that. Plus a paycheck which will definitely help and may make my dad less likely to come down from Alaska to murder me.
Now for the truly bizarre news journal. I came home from my first day at the new job and all kinds of insanity was going on at home. At first I thought it was some kind of electricty problem. Then I thought it was aliens! But if it was aliens I don't think they'd try to communicate with me via Stephen Kings The Shining. I think they'd use Dreamcatcher, or maybe that one Stephen King movie....where the peoples teeth are falling out....
-at this point in the journal entry Maya drew a doodle of the cover of the Stephen King book she meant even though she couldn't remember the name-
Anyway diary. It was not any of those things. It was a GHOST! I swear to fucking Christ. A ghost named Jack if you can believe that. A hot ghost named Jack. A hot ghost named Jack who saw me in the shower!!!! Seriously. Either that of I am losing my fucking mind at last. Always possible around here.
So Dee Dee came home and caught me trying to talk to hot ghost Jack and now she probably thinks I'm insane. Maybe she's fucking right! This is your fault diary. I told you I wished a pervert would come kidnap me and now look what happened. I blame you!
-about that time her bed moved under her and Maya didn't have a chance to finish the journal entry so she scrawled her name quick at the bottom.-
I just wrote in you like two days ago but so much has happened that I had to write again. Thank Christ Jenna and Geller bought me this...well you...otherwise where would I write all this important shit? Probably on one of those god damn Post-Its for Nike's door. Nike who by the way is still disappeared! (That was so not a good sentence diary but I know you don't care).
Anyway Diary, last we wrote I had discovered or been discovered by a ghost. Actually I think at the time I last wrote in you I still thought I was going nuts. BUT I'M NOT NUTS! HOORAY FOR ME! Or at least I might be nuts but not about the ghost. Good thing too cause Dee threatened to throw me in River Oaks. Yikes! I guess even in lurve with Sirus Dee can still be pretty scary huh? <Maya made a scribbly doodle in the margin that spilled over under her text of a very lopsided Dee and Sirus doing something that looked suspiciously like a dental examination on one another.>
Oh yeah! So the ghosts name really is Jack! And he wants our telly. Or that’s what the medium says. Wait did I tell you about the medium. Shit! I didn’t. In the commotion of thinking I was insane and worrying about aliens I called this number in the Yellow Pages and just after I finished with you diary they sent a medium over. I know! So cool. People can actually talk to ghosts. Who knew! His name was Declan and I totally thought he was into Cadence cause Cadence is a model and she’s like leggy and sexy and has lips that look like they’re saying ‘COME KISS ME NOW OR YOU WILL DIE!!!!’
Luckily Cadence and her sexiness haven’t killed anyone yet but I am waiting. Anyway the ghost and the medium had a fight and Jack punched Declan. Then the ghost left then Cadence left then Declan asked me out ON A DATE! Can you believe it? What luck! It only took twenty years, a dead guy, and a terrified phone call for me to get a date. That’s not bad right? Right? Shit, well I guess it isn’t good.
So OH sidebar. The next day I was telling the girls about my date and Trent was in my dress and Dee was doing his make up and we were all there and Venus woke the fuck up. I know! Shut the back door! For real, saw it with my own two fucking eyes, she talked and everything. She’s more awake than Zoe right now who is still drugged up as a rock star. So yeah that was really happy too….but back to my dating life (which I officially have now) <little fat hearts were scrolled in the margins with smiley faces in them <3 <3 <3>
So I went to Paix and saw Jenna and Valen and told them allllllllllll about it but then Valen was a nosy parker so I whacked him a little but then it was all okay.
THE DATE WAS AMAZING! I had a wonderful, frightening, muscle straining, and confusing time. What more could a girl ask for? No diary we did not DO IT! Jesus. Nosy much? But don’t worry if we do I will totally tell you every stinking detail. We did kiss though A LOT! My second kiss ever after that episode with Billy Kopekni behind the monkey bars but this time nobody pushed me on my ass in the sand box. Moving up in the world! And he kisses sooooooooooooo good. It makes my knees go weak and my foot lift off the ground. Who knew kisses could do that to a girl. I have totally been missing out. Probably wasting my life too who knows.
So we got chased by some serious oogly boogly bad ghost thing and Declan used too much medium power or something to get it away and then he passed out. I thought I killed him at first. I mean, seriously! I’ve never been on a real date but no one said anything about passing out so how was I to know. I had to drag him back to the house cause he doesn’t have a car. So then I put him in one of the spare rooms on the third floor.
When he woke up we fought some and then made up and then slept together. Sleeping slept you pervy book! Get your pages out of the fucking gutter. Right now, at this very moment, he is up there sleeping. IN MY HOUSE! He will probably wake up soon so I am gonna run and go try to see if Nike has returned or something cause she has got to know about this. Don’t get jealous. I like talking to you too diary but Nike is better at talking back what with having a mouth and tongue and all. <another doodle of Nikes mouth that looked a bit strange (/vv\) with fangs and everything.>
I will let you know more soon you wonderful fucking book. Love you!
<3,
MAYA
P.S. Gotta talk to Geller soon about this sex thing. Just in case. Don't want to shift and go all nom nom nom and eat my first fucking sexual conquest. That would totally suck! I mean I can masturbate and have an orgasm without shifting but not sure that theory will translate into practice. Much more on this and other developments soon. <a pink lip print was left at the bottom of the page where she had kissed the book>
P.S.S I am totally disturbed by Katy Perry's song ET. Different DNA? Ewwy. Why does she want to have sex with an alien? I mean I get that it's a metaphor. I'm not a fucking moron. Still though what a yicky metaphor. I keep getting images in my head of her boinking ET (from the movie). Totally not a cool thing to be thinking about when a song comes on the radio. Yet I can't seem to stop listening to it. Damn those addictive hooks!
-- Edited by MAYA XANTHOS on Thursday 28th of July 2011 05:40:09 PM
I have not written in you forever because my professors are sadists who thrill at my horrible awful boring life. They torture me in three hour blocks of time and I cannot even tell you how many hours I've spent in the lab this semester. If I have to dissect one more lab rat I swear I will just shift in my lab coat and kill somebody. If I never look at another specimen slide again it will be too soon. The semester is over in about a month and I cannot wait!
I also can't wait because Declan is coming home again soon. He's been gone so long I think I've forgotten what he looks like. Good thing we have iPhone's so it's easy to send pictures. Even naughty pictures. <3 <3 <3 Those are the best kind I am discovering. Turns out I'm a little bit more of a bad girl than I thought. PLUS, Declan still totally owes Caddy and me a ghost hunt. He totally promised and I am so not letting him renig on a promise.
In other news I guess Zoe had finally decided to get out of her Snuggie and return to the land of the living. I am not really sure what happened but when I got home from school the other night she had left a Post- It on my door and then the next night she had this wierd sort of dreamy look on her face. Something's up. I just know it. If I get a chance I will snoop and let you know what I find.
So, here's the plan. Gotta Ace my finals, hit the club with Zoe, Thanksgiving with Venus in town, and totally molest Declan when he gets back in town. :) I'll let you know how all that turns out. If I don't write again until after this is me wishing you a Happy Turkey Day.
-Maya scribbled a picture of a cartoon turkey dancing the can-can at the bottom of the page before signing out-
