"Depends on what you want to talk about." Theo glanced up from his book. Alex stood there in his polar bear pajama pants that had come from the girls' section in Old Navy. Eventually he shut the book, realizing this might turn into a serious conversation and therefore demanded his full attention.
Alex fidgited with the drawstring - actually kind of a ribbon - on the front of the pjs. "About the other night... the masquarade thing. Don't -- I mean just hear me out okay?" He almost panicked when he saw the look on Theo's face, the look that said this topic would not be open for discussion ever. But he needed to talk about it - they needed to, right? It wasn't like it was just this thing that happened all the time. And honestly Alex just didn't know what to think about it. He always talked to Theo about shit like that, the only difference this time, sort of, was that Theo had been involved in the confusing shit. "I mean, I know... I know that all kinds of weird things happened, but... Theo, I mean I'm having a little trouble remembering a few things but I think... I mean, I'm pretty sure I remember--"
"No," he said more emphatically, since apparently Alex hadn't gotten the hint the first time he said. "We're not talking about this, okay? I told you, nothing happened. Nothing."
"Which means something probably did happen, asshole."
Theo threw up his hands and got off the couch. "Do you think I'd really let anything happen to you?" Thankfully that made Alex look down and he breathed a sigh of relief. "Just... stop worrying about it, okay?"
He leaned forward, holding Alex by the back of the neck so he could kiss the top of his head. "You're staying here today - don't argue. I can handle the shop by myself for a few hours, I won't keep it open late." He pat his brother's cheek and headed to his bedroom to get changed.
Alex sat down on the couch, the spot Theo abandoned, and fidgited with the ribbon drawstring. He had a lot of fuzzy memories, he'd be the first to admit it. But he felt like he missed something really important from that night. Something big. And maybe the something had been really weird, or an accident, and that's why Theo wasn't talking about it but it was there, Alex knew it was. Sure he remembered, sort of, ending up in some dark corner with some stranger. After the gold glitter came down, things got even fuzzier than usual. He just... He couldn't remember. Doing all the drugs certainly hadn't helped but he knew Theo had been sober. Completely sober. When they woke up in bed together the next morning, Alex just figured they'd passed out together, which wasn't so unusual.
He chewed on his bottom lip, which was often at the recieving end of abuse from his teeth. Alex hated feeling this way - he always got anxious and weird and horny before the full moon. He hated changing so much, maybe because he'd always been at the bottom of the rodere in Newark. Theo seemed okay with it, and at least while he'd been around no one had bothered Alex. Hopefully out here it would be better. He was afraid to go to Milo after all the events of last night. Maybe the big rat would just be distracted by all the other things going on - namely the full moon. Alex hoped so. Eventually he got off the couch and headed back downstairs. He felt like he should do laundry or something else productive since apparently he wouldn't be working in the shop today.
Alex pulled his laptop closer and laid on his stomach. The TV was on in the background, Jean-Luc Picard's strong voice arguing with Q. One of his favorite episodes, all the Q ones were good. What an awesome deus-ex-machina, a completely omnipotent being that popped in just to fuck with things. Great plot device. Off to the side rested a few storyboards for a comic he'd been working on. He smiled some when he saw a familiar screen name pop up. He shifted, opening a new window.
ABnegative: back to online dating?
killjoytheo: you're so fucking lame, this is like calling me from downstairs, you know. and no, i'm not.
ABnegative: dude shut up, i don't even know where my phone is. its probably dead anyway
killjoytheo: how are you feeling?
ABnegative: like shit warmed over but i'll live. i feel like my skin is fucking crawling, this sucks so much.
killjoytheo: you know if you start feeling really fucked up we should call someone, so please don't try to hide it.
ABnegative: i don't want to bother anyone else
killjoytheo: alex
ABnegative:theo
killjoytheo: it's not funny, withdrawl could still kill you
ABnegative: i'm okay. i feel sick and jittery, that's all. i'll have a few shots and be okay or something.
killjoytheo: yeah okay
ABnegative: so what's up with you and kota?
killjoytheo: i don't even know. nothing. nothing is up.
ABnegative: just checking. what about otis?
killjoytheo: you're kind of fucking nosy
ABnegative: you're kind of my fucking brother
killjoytheo: whatever, i'm not with anyone right now. i mean i'd be cool with a no-strings-attached thing but that's probably not gonna happen
ABnegative: otis would probably be down
killjoytheo: dude, alex. don't even.
ABnegative: i'm just saying
killjoytheo: you don't need to just say anything
ABnegative:are you a guy virgin?
killjoytheo: that is not even relevant to the fucking conversation
ABnegative: your words get bigger when you get pissed. and i'm not hearing a no.
killjoytheo: let it go, man. i am not discussing my sex life with you.
ABnegative: whatever, it's not like i've never been involved in it.
killjoytheo: this is not happening
ABnegative: denial is no way to live, theodore
killjoytheo: sometimes i hate you so much
ABnegative: don't be mean, you love me
killjoytheo: whatever
ABnegative: i mean i'd totally suck your dick
killjoytheo:ALEX dude. not okay.
ABnegative: whatever, you're so wound up, i hope you get a fuck buddy
killjoytheo: maybe i can borrow one of yours
ABnegative: i don't really keep phone numbers. or get them. and i don't hook up half as much as you think i do.
killjoytheo: we are not talking about sex
ABnegative: man you brought it up
killjoytheo: what do you want for dinner?
ABnegative: ham and mac and cheese
killjoytheo: what are you, five?
ABnegative: you asked! comfort food, i demand it
killjoytheo: sure you're not going to just throw it up?
ABnegative: at least i'd get to taste it again
killjoytheo: man... just.. ew. i'm going shopping, i'll be back later.
ABnegative: get me shampoo!
killjoytheo: are you going to use it?
ABnegative: eventually
killjoytheo: you're just weird
ABnegative: it's all love
[killjoytheo signed off at 9:50pm]
-- Edited by ALEX BLACK on Saturday 26th of March 2011 11:32:46 PM
Theo shifted carefully, not wanting to disturb the body leaning against his own. He sat against the wall, pillows piled behind his back, with Alex sleeping against his chest. Theo's arm draped across his brother's chest, hand resting over Alex's heart as if he needed to make sure it kept beating. None of the lights were on in the basement, the only light came from the glow of the TV. They'd been watching Dr. Who for a while, at least until Alex finally passed out. Now Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares was on. Theo didn't need the volume up to know every other word was probably bleeped out.
He sighed and rested his head against the wall, closing his eyes for a moment. He'd checked his phone not too long ago, it was after midnight. Even in the cool basement, Alex had broken into a sweat and shuddered now and again - Theo could only assume he was in pain. He didn't know how to fix it... how to take this away. He couldn't, really. He could just be here and hope Alex would feel better in the morning. Maybe quitting cold turkey hadn't been the way to go - what if Alex died? Could withdrawal like this kill someone? As soon as the thought popped into his head, Theo couldn't get rid of it and it plagued him in the quiet dark.
"Fuck," he whispered, brow knit. Maybe... No, this is what Alex said he wanted. He wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true, right? Shit. He shook Alex's shoulder. "Hey," he murmured. "Wake up."
Alex jerked, but it took him a second to actually make it back to full consciousness. "Huh? I'm okay," he mumbled, pushing himself up slowly. "Did I fall asleep...? Sorry."
"No, it's okay. I mean, that's not why I woke you up."
"Oh..." Alex rubbed his hair, feeling... well, he felt like shit, really. He sank back down to the bed and curled in a tight ball around a pillow. "What's up?" he asked as if nothing could possibly be wrong.
"Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what?"
"Why are you just... quitting like this?" Theo tried not to look too concerned.
"Because... I should?" Alex shrugged and looked up. "I'm okay, Theo."
Theo sank back again, watching the TV without really watching it. His hand slid across the sheets and laced with one of Alex's, holding tight. "I don't want you to hurt like this."
"It was gonna hurt no matter what."
"You and your fucking--" he sighed. "Yeah. I know. Just... if you need a hit, I mean, we still have it upstairs. I mean, I'd rather you be on a little than just... die, okay?"
"I'm not gonna die, Theo." Alex shifted and rested his head against his brother's thigh. "Didn't die in the alley that night, or in the hospital. Not gonna die now. Kay?"
"Yeah... okay. You better fucking not."
"You're so supportive, Theodore. If it gets really bad I'll get a drink or a hit or something and we'll figure shit out. If Milo gets pissed you get to deal with him."
ABnegative: do dragons breathe fire or is it some other mechanism?
killjoytheo: uhm, i guess it depends on who you're reading or what manual you're going by. in a couple recent books it's been like, magic? and they don't actually breathe it.
ABnegative:: yeah but i swear i remember reading something about how it worked, like, biologically
killjoytheo: monster manual?
ABnegative: i don't... think so? i'll look it up.
killjoytheo: wiki it
killjoytheo: why are we talking about dragons?
ABnegative: uhm, why don't we spend MORE time talking about them? i don't know. you remember page numbers.
ABnegative: were you serious about the fried twinkie thing?
killjoytheo: yeah, i swear there's a place you can get them around here.
ABnegative: i think my mind has been blown
killjoytheo: it's weird, i can't imagine it's good
ABnegative: i kind of want to poke one with a stick
killjoytheo: yeah i can see that
ABnegative: hey toro wants a swap meet
killjoytheo: you get way too protective
ABnegative: he always wants my good comics and i always doubt that i'll get them back in the same condition. he's obsessive about how all the cables and stuff are, not many other things.
killjoytheo: i guess. i don't know how you keep your shit so clean given your room.
ABnegative: my comics are not replacable. my clothes are.
killjoytheo: uh huh
ABnegative: they are!! i have some awesome ones, don't even lie, you're jealous
killjoytheo: only a little
ABnegative: anyway, yeah, his place or ours?
killjoytheo: maybe his, that way he can't browse the stuff you don't want to lend out
ABnegative: good thinking. okay i'll let him know what's going down.
killjoytheo: we might as well practice while we're there
ABnegative: cool, i'll let him know to set everything up.
Alex flipped back to another IM box.
ABnegative: hey, theo's in, but it's happening at your place
ToroToro: Really? Don't you guys have a house now?
ABnegative: yeah but... yeah. he wants to have practice too and you and Rob have the drum set there, easier than moving it over here. right?
ToroToro: Yeah good point. Cool, when?
ABnegative: this weekend? we have a show Saturday so maybe leading up to that? I don't know.
ToroToro: I'll work it out with Theo.
ABnegative: sweet. hey, have you ever had a fried twinkie?
ToroToro: yeah they're really weird
ABnegative: noted, number one
ToroToro: in the captain's log?
ABnegative: where the fuck else would it go?
ToroToro: Why isn't Theo number one?
ABnegative: he's like my spock
ToroToro: Dude now you're just mixing original series and Next Gen
