It had been a few years since Nate left the Marines. A few years since the horrors of war stopped playing before his eyes. The cries of men no longer filled his ears, the stench of death and fire no longer filled his nostrils. He was back in the States, safe. No longer was that sniper rifle carried close to his form, never out of sight or arms reach.
But that did not mean that the war had left the man. It didn't mean he didn't close his eyes and see the replays, lay in a silent room and hear the screams. Sit on the back porch and smell the fires and bodies. He was honorablly discharged after his multiple tours and years in the Corps. His service to his country done and over. His life as a citizen, now forever changed given back to him. When he returned from his tours he had remained quiet of his time deployed. He spoke about it to few and now even fewer.
It had been suggested by a counsler that he write it down. The counsler had not been his idea but after his first tour and his buddy had come home to find Nate unapproachable, growling, seemingly foaming at the mouth digging a bunker in the front lawn, Nate was sent to one for PTSD. Nate was a lion, both man and beast had gone through the horrors. Resisted the urge to change or had done it in secret. At the time shifters were on the black list, the only thing that wasn't as bad as being a shifter in the military was being gay. But every shifter had the call and the few who had served in his platoon had joined together, taken duties that took them out away from the others and given them that ability to shift and hunt away from the prying eyes of Uncle Sam and the rest.
Nate had done what was needed for both he and that beast that shared his body. He survived, sometimes by the very skin of his teeth but he had survived. Three more tours almost back to back had Nate thinking he would forever be lost in the sea of brown and forever under threat of mortar attack.
But now as he sat on the back porch of the Pride house and over looked the swamp beyond, he didn't hear the orchestra of bullfrogs, and the collection of crickets fiddling their tune. He didn't feel the wind playing through the spanish moss, along the acres of mangroves and tickling the tall cat tails in its wake. Nate looked out for the first time in three years onto a sea of brown, the wind wipping sand about. He could almost still feel the harsh grains pelting against his skin as the sandstorm kicked up from the whole of the compass rose. Brown eyes looked to his left, seeing not the deck, the railing or the furniture, but the humvee split at the front, degraded and war torn by some mine unseen. And when his eyes turned right they saw not the door nor the other side of the deck and railing, the trees offering gentle sways from the wind, but the bodies of men. Friends, comrades and brothers. Not standing and smiling but strewn, broken, beat and bloodied on the golden brown sand that wipped faster to cover them in its cloak. He shivered feeling the sand despite the layers trickle down his back and rest against sweat soaked skin.
He pushed up from his seat and turned his gaze upon the porch. Lost in the mirage of his mental horror flare. He blinked, trying to take a deep breath. Begging it to end for as strong as the man and beast were there were occasions were he lost that wall. Times when that wall of horror broke, crumbled and invaded his mind. Now was one of those times and sanity, what was able to push through the haze tried to calm him, feared for himself,feared for others.
Nate stepped back again and turned not seeing the house but the horror of the trucks behind that had been fired on. Shrapenal began to rain about him and he looked towards the large convoy truck that was hit. Hearing the screams of men lost in the explosion, flown through the air. He stood still, watching it all unfold about him as he had years ago when the daymares came.
Another step back had his back to the railing and his hands gripping the wood absently. He slowly shook his head, trying to free himself of the sights, sounds and smells. But the tell-tale sound of the M-4 Carbine fire before him made him stop mid shake and look upwards towards the men still living, still able to fight, shooting off at the sand before them. That sandstorm trailing in and surrounding him, taking with it the sights, the sounds, the smells. Hoping it would end knowing, it wouldn't. He was powerless to call out, but his Lion was not and he chuffed outwards to whoever was in the house. Sadly no one was there, Nate was yet again alone in the home. The lion paced feverishly angry growls and snarls, lashing out at the air with heavy mammoth paws, nails like daggers slicing the air. Nate began long slow breaths and tried to close his eyes as the scene of the daydream shifted. The sand ever present coated the deck despite his back to the railing he looked to his left where that sniper rifle should be and his eyes saw what he thought was it, but what was infact a broom. Lowering to the floor lost now to his daymare he belly crawled forward, through the door and into the kitchen. Approaching a building that was in fact the fridge and wall behind with counters and the like before him but all he saw was the piss poor construction of the Iraqi landscape and slipping behind it. Rising upwards and slinking along its length before he crouched and lowered the rifle into stance. Elbow rested to knee. Head tucked against the butt of the rifle and his eyes focused. Nate shot open eyed. A trick an old sniper had taught him. One eye looking through the scope, the other open and looking over the sands. Fingers reached to grip his throat mic and he whispered. "Serenity to Firefly, target in sight. Permission to fire." And hearing an audible response that wasnt there he fired. Watching as the bullet traced the air faster than the human eye could follow.
He watched where the bullet should have gone and pressed fingers to a non exsistant thorat mic and spoke. "Target down, danger close, will return to LZ asap." Lowering once more to his belly he moved around the obstacles of the house thinking them rocks, weeds or the like. until he found the safety of a small cave in the mountain. His power flooded the house, poured out of his being and sent the lion into a ragefilled fit. Roaring out as loud and as hard as he could, caling to his fellows if they could hear him, hissing, snapping at the air and clawing at nothing. Nate slipped further back into the cave which in truth was the walk in closet in Syds room. Burrying himself in the corner and sending a response he was in a hidey hole awaiting evac. He was so lost in the corner he would be hard to see there but there he sure enough was. His eyes looked back and forth in the dark as he had only slipped in enough to get through and the door swung shut a little more.
When anyone returned home the couches would be moved out of place, the back door wide open, Nates cell, smokes and lighter upon the back porch where he had left him. Flip flops upon the ground. His shields up so tight only Syd or Logan would be able to find him as he managed to pass out into a deep sleep there in the corner of the closet. It would seem as if Nate had just moved from the chair and not come back but the disheveled furniture could leave things to the imagination if one didnt take the time to look.
-- Edited by NATE REYNOLDS on Friday 9th of September 2011 10:19:14 PM
-- Edited by NATE REYNOLDS on Tuesday 13th of September 2011 08:35:24 AM
-- Edited by NATE REYNOLDS on Tuesday 13th of September 2011 01:46:32 PM
With the season's starting to change, things were getting darker a bit earlier now. And so the drive that used to give her beautiful views of the bayou, when comming home from the club, were usually dark and a little lonely. The nights when Nate worked late, sticking around to help with rehersals, she had someone to ride with. That was something. And it gave her time to get to know him. Valen, she hadn't gotten a chance to get to know as well yet, and she was hoping to remedy that.
As for Logan, she hadn't seen, nor heard from him in weeks now. His scent even faint in the house. Her mind wandering, she wondered briefly, if she'd even know if something had happend to him. as deeply under cover as he apparently was. She was turning into the driveway, when she felt that almost...frantic, rage filled roar comming from in the house, and from Nathaniel. Eye's going wide, as her beast came to attention, and Sydney cursed, quickly heading down the long driveway to the large plantation house that sat back on the property, the bayou behind. That angry roaring had stopped by the time she got to the house itself, and threw the car into park. cutting the engine.
Letting herself into the front door, she started heading to where she usually knew nate to be. The back porch showing what it usualy would, with his smokes and drink next to his chair, along with his cell. His shoes on the floor. Frowning, she turned and moved cautiously back into the house. Her beast moving stealthily with her. She didn't feel anyone else in the house that shouldn't be there....and she didn't smell anyone else. She knew he had to be here though...
Frowning, she walked slowly through the house, her eye's moving over the moved furniture. Nate's scent filled the house now, mingling with that of her own, and Valen's. Climbing the stairs, she moved quietly, eye's intent on the top landing, and she started to move down the hallway. Le'Cleric was once again visiting his lady friend, and Syd was glad of it, as she moved down the hallway, away from his room, and towards Nathaniels own. Glancing inside, finding it empty, she blinked. Turning towards her own bedroom, her door ajar, when she was sure she'd left it closed. The sleek white lioness moved ahead of her, sensing her cat inside, and drew Sydney along with her. As she stepped in the room, she got that sense that Nate was here...as tightly as he was shielding it wasn't any wonder, she had trouble picking it out before.
Her lioness heading for the closet, Syd followed after slowly, and eased the door open. Peering inside, she reached to the side, and flicked the overhead light on. bathing the closet in light, and let emerald eye's shift this way and that, looking for him, untill finally...There curled in the corner was her cat. The white male having exausted himself, the female moved foward, and purring comfortingly, she butted against him as he hid.
Moving to Nate, she touched his face gently, and with a sigh, managed to get the larger man up, and out of the walk in. Heading into the bedroom, she got him onto the bed, and under the covers. She wasn't exactly sure what had happend. Why he was hiding in her closet, but she had a feeling it was something he was going to need to share soon.
Crawling onto the bed behind him, she curled against his back, as her beast curled around his. Comforting warmth filling the room, and giving him the feeling that he'd just sunk neck deep into a warm bath. Or was covered with his favorite blanket, cozy and content. saftey and warmth, it was woven around him like a coccoon. He was her's to protect, and she would make sure he remembered that. for now, letting him sleep.
The large white male felt the female near, felt the comfort she offered even the king of beasts needed comfort. The beast roused slightly and when she curled into him butting against him he eased back against her own beast.
Nate intially tried to fight her off when she tried to pull him from the hiding spot. Waking only enough to see a body but even still it was not hers it was a lost comrade taking him to the med tent and dropping him to the bed. He pushed against the bed tried to fight off the comfort she offered until she eased into the bed behind him and he settled. Her closeness, her scent her smell her feel. Everything seemed to converge to offer him that safe warm feeling that brought his mind back to tera firma and helped ease him into a deep sleep he had missed in days. It was part of the trigger, part of the problem. Hours passed dusk turned to dark and dark turned to twilight before the man stirred and the beast lifted his head.
Turning his hues towards the white female the large white male butted against her head and licked along her cheek and ear. HIs eyes looking her over a moment before he slowly rose and ran against her side. Placing his scent against her before lowering to rest once more curled now around her head to her own and he closed his eyes sleepily.
It was about the time Nate stirred. Feeling arms about him and turning slightly to see Syd, his eyes blinked back sleep looking about the room bewildered for a long moment before leaning forward and pressing his hands to his head. Shaking it slowly. "No,no,no,no.... please dont start this again." he whispered to himself staying quiet while Syd slept. Slowly he pulled from her. Easing from the comfort. His eyes turned to her a moment and he rubbed at his head as the pounding continued. It was his tell, he lost all track of himself in those visions, lost all thought of who he was and the only way he knew they happened was the titanic pounding against his head.
He eased off the bed careful as he walked and silenced a groan wishing to ease from his lips. Hues turned to her as he closed the door. His lion remaining however with hers. Nate was silent as a church mouse down the stairs and to the kitchen. Reaching into the fridge he grabbed a water and moved out onto the porch. Curling to wrap head in hands and take a drink without lifting it. It dribbled out of his lips in the horrible drinking position and onto the wood of the deck beneath. He closed his eyes and felt like they were going to pound out of his head. Shakily he reached for a smoke and lit it.
Nate had hoped these times were over, so long without an occurance. And now he sat doubled over, Syd having found him meant explinations he didnt want to give but knew he had to. Hues finally opened and even in the darkness of night he squinted outwards looking as he took his first real puff of the smoke.
Finally his lion rose and nipped against hers to pull her with him. Moving to get to his human counterpart hoping the white lioness followed behind him. Nate felt his beast growing closer as he sat there until the large white beast meandered to plop against the ground and lower his head.
Nate just sat, waiting for the pounding to stop and the questions to arise.
Nate shifting, and leaving the bed, and the comfort she’d woven around him had Syd waking. Eye’s watching him as he slipped from the room and waiting a few minutes, finally rising herself. Robe was slipped on as she moved barefoot down the hall, and silently down the steps. Her beast following his, knowing he still needed that comfort of his group. Moving to the back door, she stood leaning her shoulder against the door frame, arms wrapped around herself, as she watched him with his head in his hands.
“You wanna tell me what happened?” Her voice was soft, and that warmth and comfort wrapped around him once more, as if that alone could banish the pounding in his head. Moving to stand behind him, she gently moved his hands aside, and brought slender fingers to his temples, and started to massage firmly, but still gentle. When Nate didn’t say anything right away, she let the silence stretch out, and finally, “If there is something that’s causing this, Nate…you need to tell me, if only so we can figure out how to keep it from happening again.”
From what Sydney had seen, and the way he had acted when she got him up and out of the closet, and into the bed, reminded her of Seth, a friend of herself and Luke, who had been over sea’s on three different occasions. And came home at the end of it all with post traumatic stress disorder and an honorable discharge. Some how, it didn’t really seem to be a fair trade. From what little she knew about Nathaniel, she knew he’d been in the military, though, he hadn’t really told her much about it. So she could only guess.
Stroking fingers gently through his hair, she let them trace back down along his neck, massaging, and working out knots, and into his shoulders. “Does it happen often?” her voice soft, and a note of concern in it. She wanted to help. He was her’s. and she would protect him in anyway she knew how, in any way she could.
Nate could feel her coming and part of him wandered her to give him just a little more time before the questions began. Feeling her power once more ease off of him and dull the pounding of his head to the point he could lift it and not feel like his whole head might pop off like an over inflated balloon. His eyes closed as her fingers rubbed gently along his temples and through his hair then down along his neck. He let a soft growl out still remaining quiet from her questions.
He wasnt ignoring them, it was just hard to answer them. His hues remained closed a few more moments before he began to respond to each in turn. "I was a sniper in the Marines as I told you before. But I never told you, or anyone else what happened over there. I cant say I will start now but.... It changes a man to be so close to teh cuff and so far from relaxation." He quieted a moment. "You see the spoils of war and the horror it takes and leaves. It does things to your brain." His voice was quiet as he pulled a smoke from his back pack and lit it taking in a deep inhale before offering her the same smoke.
His lion looked up as her came. Feeling her powers envelope him the large white beast pushed his head into hers and slowly his own power so often locked tight behind walls of carbonite ebbed out and mingled pleasently with his own. So far Syd was the only one he had fully dropped his sheilds for and knoew the power behind the often reserved man.
Nate began again as he took back the smoke and took in another long inhale. "When I came back, I was home about a week before the visions started, first brushed aside as vivid nightmares. Until two weeks later my buddy came home to me waist deep in a sleeping hole 9mm over my chest. My beast was in fits and luckily he was a shifter and was able to calm him. A wolf. He convinced me to get counseling so I didnt loose control. "
He kept his words quiet and never looked to her as he spoke. "It took years but finally they just slowed then stopped and I thought I was better. But then randomly they would happen. Occasionally, my last one was 4 years ago. Until today." he quieted again and took an inhale of his smoke blowing it out as he stared at the cherry on the cig. "I dont know what triggers them. The doctors assumed lack of sleep and triggers of scent or sound. but they happened so infrequently they never knew." His eyes lifted upwards as he took a puff and offered the smoke to her again. All her questions answered and more insight that any other had gotten he quieted and waited for her next questions.
