Outside the winds blew so hard she heard the shutters threaten to rip off and fly helplessly in the wind. Winds of change or danger, the capt would warn. Something was coming...Or was already hear...But inside Silent's mind a new storm was brewing.
It always went like this. She would return home...Things would be good...Till triggers happened. And the other night a big bomb of a trigger went off with that vampire in the cafe. She didnt know...Couldnt comprehend what it was. But he set off her nightmare.
Of Vaughn's death...Of killing the swanmane. Of her own almost death at the hands of the monsters that targeted the once master of this city.But even worse then the nightmares...Were the dreams of him...Of Ash..Of Vaughn..Of Myc..Even of Bryce. The loves who haunted her even today. Each of them taking a part of her and leaving nothing in return...Making her wounder if she had anything to give...Would she actually love someone other then herself...Or Nyx...And Nyx was the only person she would actually use that word with anymore.
The crashing sound of thunder would wake her. Those colorful dreadlocks were drenched with sweat...Her pale skin glittered in the dim light that drifted in from the busy frenchmen street. Long fingers twisted in her sheets...A deep breath was taken. This is what happens to lone wolves. And while yes she was trying to form a pack...And thus far getting nowhere...And yes she had nyx close by..Normally. They were indeed loners. It wasnt healthy.
Pushing out of her bed she would move across the room grab her hoodie and some pants...They never were hers anyways..tossing them on she would text Lou.
"I need you...Im coming over...for a while"
Her home just didnt feel like one anymore. Not since...Well that was lori's choice...She would leave it be. But...This was slowly not her haven anymore...And without a pack or a pack's place of power...She was like a message bottle lost at sea. She had something important to say...But...Noone was there to listen.
Leaving a note for nyx for when she returned from Baton Rouge with the Capt..She was out the door and heading towards Lou's
Nightmares... images in shadowy haze of blacks and grey, the heavy coppery scent of blood, terror and rage. They were always the same and yet every dream was different.
There were the early memories that started with fear, with the creeping horror of what dealt in the darkness. Fear shifted to panic, a wild panic that bled color to shades of grey. Panic became agony, rending pains that became familiar over time. Pain became rage, feral anger that held the taste and scent of what could only be blood. No images to speak of, no story to recall, just the race of feelings that so often woke her into confusion.
There were other dreams, other memories, lost loves, wandering alone. Then there was pain. Pain, pure and simple as a part of her was ripped away. It had started as a normal night, she insisted on staying in the shop. How many times had she regretted that? That she was left when they were gone? Lost in her work and then.. something, a flash of fear and then barriers, layers and layers of barriers between her and the other parts of her. And almost before she could react.... Pain.
The pain never seemed to end, in her soul was a gaping hole, a wound that wouldn't heal. Iinstinct kept her alive, surviving was too engrained within her to just waste away and die. Days she never rose from bed. Weeks she rarely left the apartment. Months before she re-entered the shop. She finally learned to distract herself, to shove the pain away.
But when she slept... it all returned. She rarely woke without sobbing. Tonight was no different. The sounds of her own soft sobs mingled with the chiming of her cell phone, the soft sound helping her focus that she must be awake. Tremors shook her as she unociled from the tight curl she'd taken in pain-filled sleep to reach for the phone. Tears made the words blurry but she made them out
Sil: "I need you...Im coming over...for a while"
Her fingers stumbled as she responded: 'i'm up doors open'
She sniffed, slowly making her way to the bathroom. She needed to wash away the tears.
