I hate writing in these things. Maire thinks it might be good for me though, I used to keep a journal while I was in New York. Peter read it all the time, not that there was ever any expectation of privacy between us. Not as far as my life was concerned, anyway. Anyway, I figure moving back to my home town and taking my own name again might be worth a new start with writing shit down too.
So here it is, personal journal of Caspian Pomeroy, also known as Caspian Vardas.
I've been here a little less than a month, living with Maire and getting back on my feet. I've covered a lot of ground since being back in the States, even got out to Hawaii and back after seeing some old friends. It's still weird being back, even stranger using my own last name. Changed it when I was twenty and never really looked back. Maire talked me into that, too. We're family, blood family at that and I guess now that our mother's dead there's no reason I need to hide my association anymore. Can't say I'm really upset about it, her death I mean. Didn't even hear about it until I got back here, I guess Maire thought it was something that needed to be said in person. It doesn't matter, I pissed on the grave once I found it. Not as satisfying as I'd hoped.
Ran into Gabrielle and I know there's kind of a loose clan here. I'll be happy enough to avoid them, they got nothing I want or need, and I'm infected anyway so I seriously doubt they're gonna give me the time of day unless they need someone to do shit for them. Another ghost from London turned up too, Nathaniel. Guess I handled that pretty poorly, but it wasn't something I was really prepared for.
I always told the pup I wasn't ready to go making anyone promises, but we'd have some fun. And we did. When the itch hit again I left and I tried keeping in touch but once I started really moving around it got harder. Yeah, I guess I remember him saying something about expanding his business, but... well I had my own shit to take care of and it didn't really hit me until I saw again. The memory that he'd be in the city. He's a good kid, we've got shit in common though. He took it kind of hard when I said I'd run into a couple of vampires that had my interest. I went to see him later that night but he'd already decided there was no way to reconcile. At least, not for now. I told him I had his back if he ever needed me... but I doubt he's the kind that's gonna forgive me any time soon.
Maybe I should back up past that a little more.
A couple nights ago I ran into Dee in a hookah bar, she was pretty sloppy so I figured I could babysit a while. Another pack member showed up I guess, guy called Sirus. The bar tender told us somewhere Dee could sleep it off and after we tucked her in it was back to the bar. Two Master vampires walked in - identicle fucking twins - and I never looked back. I could feel the power in them, I could feel the touch before one of them even offered it to me. They can call cats... or at least, one of them can. He got my attention and I got his. Some young vamp was hassling them so I went to make sure he didn't get in the way of whatever peaceful business they were conducting. Logan, that was his name. I still got a few claws with his fucking name written on them. Felix indeed. I don't take kindly to that kind of attitude. Especially when I'm nice and polite about things.
Anyway, night after that I decided to track down the Masters, seeing as how they owed me something now anyway. It's hard to get it out of my head, you know? Ever since New York it's something that's drawn me. I've been disappointed enough times. But I went anyway and fuck... for the first time I think I might've found what I'm looking for. I don't know yet, I'm not in a rush to figure it out just yet. They invited me to this Mardi Gras shin-dig or whatever is going on.
Gonna take a fucking nap. Thinking about all this again is hurting my damn head.
