London fuckin sucked ass. The only good thing that came out of it was living with Geller, and meeting Nathaniel. I mean really, who in their right mind would live in a city that's always fucking cold and always fucking raining?! I don't care if Harry Potter originated there, it fuckin sucked! At least I had an apartment with Geller, but even that went to shit when he left. Oh oh! And don't get me started on all that drama bullshit that happened between the wolves. I mean really Bailey, we had that bastard cornered! And then all these white knights tried trampling on in, saving the damsels in distress when one of them, me, had guns that were bigger than their dicks and egos put together. My old unit came into the city, started destroying all the towns outskirt of the city, and that was time for me to get the fuck out. Yeah, I did not want to run into Sgt. Meyers. I mean, I think he heard word of mouth that I became a werewolf, which is why I think he came to London. So I packed my bags and left.
Strangely, I got this invitation for a Masquerade Ball in New Orleans from someone. I don't know who this all-knowing person is, but I decided why not? I never been to New Orleans, always wanted to go. Maybe I may find a home here. Seriously, how many dicks do I have to suck in order to call just one place a home?
So, a few things happened so far. First, I met Sirus. The first time we met, I was eating beignets, and I had powdered sugar all over my tits. AND I LICKED THEM OFF RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT! What the fuck is wrong with me?!?! The next time I saw him, I was high. Not like a cool, calm high, but a fucked up high! God, do I know how to leave impressions on people, or what? Sheesh.
The third time I saw him, I was TRYING to fish, hint the word TRYING when I fell off the boat, and he came to my rescue, and brought me to shore. And we ended up talking, you know, getting to know each other, and then he asked me to the ball! I was like omg omg omg omg omg, freakin out! Of course, I didn't SEEM like I was freakin out on the outside, but I really was. I tried to play it off like you know, we're just going as friends because we don't know anyone else, and we suck at dancing. But I just imagined myself holding his hand, and dancing with him, and laughing, and...kissing him. I've never felt this way about a guy. I mean, have you met me?! I'm usually THE GUY in the group. Now I feel like a complete and total fuckin freak.
So here comes Venus to the rescue!! She is the most beautiful, prideful, intelligent woman I have ever met in my life. Do I have a slight crush on her? Yes, as the matter of fact I do, but that's not the point. She agreed to help me become a woman! Well, I mean, I am a woman, but I mean like look the part and act the part to impress Sirus..I mean other guys. I've never been on a REAL date before. I've never had a mother to teach me all about makeup and hair and dresses and all those girly things, so I bestowed the duty on Venus, and she agreed to help me. Thank God because I didn't know who else would take me in and help me, well besides Hair Gel, like he always does, but I SERIOUSLY DOUBT he can teach me about being a woman.
First and foremost, I would like to say a big FUCK YOU to Mr. Coffee. You ruin my life every morning. You work just fiiiine for everyone in the house, but nooooooo you gotta be an asshole to me with your filters and coffee grinds and stupid buttons. But you know what Mr. Coffee? Your lucky that Hair Gel and Jenna bought me a gift card to Starbucks, so don't think it's over between me and you. Your days are numbered, buddy. I WILL conquer your ass like Alexander the Great.
Moving on. Hair Gel disappeared for like 3 months, which was highly unusual for him. I followed his scent towards the South, and when I came back, he was found and brought to the hospital. I don't think my search wasn't useless because I certainly got everyone's attention. And if it wasn't for me saying that I think aliens took him or someone else or he's missing, no one would have even known and went looking for him. About a day after that, Zoe went missing. Ash, Trent, and Lou searched for her, and when they brought her to the hospital, she had vampire bites on her neck. I love Zoe, don't get me wrong, but she's completely stupid for messing around with vampires. Does she not realize she's only human? I mean really. C'mon now. Humans. Vampires. Not a good idea there babe. And then shortly after that Venus went missing in New York. Call it wolf instincts or me just being crazy, I had this gut feeling that something was up. I didn't know exactly what, but something. Venus is back though thanks to Hair Gel going up there and rescuing her.
Sometimes I think I'm next. I mean it seems like the wolves have this blood diamond or rare jewel that people want because everything keeps happening to us. And I think to myself everyday that I'm next, or something bad is going to happen to me. Hair Gel says stop thinking like that, that nothing is going to happen, but how would he know? He was the one that disappeared for 3 months and when they found him, he was next to a blown-up building. And then poor Alex. She consumed her psychotic brother Xavier, and now he's like inside her head, and made her attack herself ending up in the hospital. And then Sirus and I hunted for Zack. Apparently something happened with him and some guy named Steven, and Zack ended up being stowed away in some warehouse by McDonalds. Luckily, Sirus and I arrived there in human form because if we arrived in wolf form, Zack probably would have shit and pissed himself scared, as if he wasn't already enough. Plus, he recognized me. Plus, being in wolf form in mid-city wouldn't have been a good idea.
But I do have good news though! Great news in fact. Sirus and I are officially together. He asked me to be his girlfriend when he took me to a Zephyrs game. I thought it was quite romantic! And the team won too! We had a lot of fun, and we got caught kissing on the Kiss Cam. It was so embarrassing when the crowd roared and applauded. I can't wait to tell Hair Gel. He's gonna be so happy for me. Then after we went to the lakefront and talked, and then saw the new Transformers after that. It was probably the best date we went on. We've been dating for four months, and now we're officially together. Honestly I have no clue what being in a relationship means, or what couples do. And Sirus tried to explain it to me, but I guess it all comes with learning. Though I do have common knowledge that when I'm in a relationship with someone, I don't sleep with someone else. Common sense, duh! Not like I was doing that anyways. Men see me as a guy, but Sirus. He's the first to truly see me for who I am as a woman, a beast, and a crazy ex-military psycho that loves guns.
Speaking of guns. Now that I have the REAL thing, I can put my guns and lube away.
